“For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.” (2 Cor 4:5)

I was doing for over 30 years all kind of leadership tasks in the church of Jesus, when a concurrence of events led to a complete mental crash. I entered unexpectedly and unwantedly a period of burn-out that would last several years.

I was relieved of my job as fulltime pastor and I was obliged to stop my involvement in Christian Flanders. I did not preach anywhere for over a year, although I had been doing this for years throughout the whole of Flanders. I even felt written off by God and fellow human beings. The civil society declared that I was incapable to work.

After a short passage through the regional council of physicians and a few surgeries (for instance on my back) I was never invited again to visit the industrial medical officer. Over and out.

It is hard to explain how completely exhausted I was. It is difficult to say how the least of tense situations gave me enormous stress. Only the idea of being in a large crowd, like for instance a meeting day, made me anxious. I was only able to function on a minimal level. I even had to withdraw myself from time to time at family parties.

A few pastors that still “believed” in me began to invite me after a while, for instance to speak during Sunday morning services. I accepted the invitations. I did not want to be completed excluded from the land of the living. Trying to do something meaningful was like catching at a straw. It was do or die under the motto: “I do not preach myself, but Chris Jesus as Lord”, just like the apostle Paul wrote. I often felt knocked-out when returning home, but yet thankful that I could do something.

While going through a kind of elongated death experience, a few seeds of life remained deep inside of me. I tried to do everything not yo lose my faith: it was like a matter of life and death.
While having the blues, I opened myself over and over again before God, of Who I know that He is love. I experienced this love from time to time, in spite of not moving forward mentally. Nobody was able to take this small glimmers of hope away from me.
I knew that the turning point in my life would come years later.

I got in touch with a small group of Christians form the Netherland, that I regularly met. It encouraged me, but the stress and the everlasting exhaustment became part of my life.
I wanted to attend a healing conference, but the idea of sitting long hours on a chair following an intense program made my heart sink to the bottom. I knew I would not handle it. It was not within my mental and physical reach, in spite of a deep longing.

One day I received a notice that “Gods Ambassade” organized a shortened version of their healing week. My heart was filled with joy, because I might survive this one. As I somehow knew a few of the team members of Gods Ambassade from the past, I was sure I would be at ease around them. My wife wanted to come with me; this was additional support for me, but I was still doubting whether I should register. I thought: this will still be too heavy and too much.

So I decided to call the organizer, Hugo. I told him that I was eager to come, but that I would not manage to sit that much hours on a chair. Hugo’s reply was something like this: “If you are tired, feel free to lay down; bring a cushion and a small mattress or something alike with you. While laying down, you can still hear the teachings.” I felt very welcome and my wife and I registered for the shortened healing week from Wednesday 21 January till Friday 23 January 2015 in La Foresta, Vaalbeek.

I indeed did spend some sessions laying down on the carpet of the meeting hall, and it was a much better way to absorb the words spoken out of God’s word. Once again I was touched by God’s love and it was as if He said: “From this day onwards I will raise you up.”

Looking back after almost two years, I know that the conference was a turning point in my life. I can write honestly that my fatigue problem is almost completely gone. I can testify that the Lord raised me up mentally and that He makes me combative again. I am not saying that all my health problems are gone, but I am living on active hope and expectation.

I am grateful to God, but also to the brothers and sisters of the team of Gods Ambassade, because they – together with other Christians – play an important role.
I am motivated to write down this testimony for the purpose of and with a prayer that people suffering from a desperate burn-out would not give up hope in God’s love. May the Lord bless you.

Ignace, 26 December 2016