God brings His lost sheep home

Kathleen tells her story: "I've known God all my life, I grew up with Him. I know He'll never lose sight of me, wherever I go or whatever I do… and now He brought me back home.

My parents divorced when I was 3. I was raised by my mom, I actually never knew my father. As a child I went to church (the church of Hugo and Inger) with my mom every Sunday. The church meetings were at a church member's home. While the adults were listening to the sermon, there was a children's club in the verandah room. Sam, Manu, me and a few other children were doing handiwork while being taught about Jesus. We were about 5 years in this church, before that we went to a church in Kalmthout.

When I was 12 my mom decided to quit going. We had recently moved and a tough period started. Mom suffered a fierce depression. In fact she had been depressed for many years, but the circumstances worsened her condition and taking care of me became difficult. Mom lost her interest in God and He wasn't so much on my mind either anymore, although (looking back) I always felt He was there.

Mom met a man with whom she wanted to start over. That was terribly difficult for me. Up to then it had always been just the two of us, and we had gone through a lot! I felt left out, lost control completely and tried to find it back in a different way. Anorexia slipped in. It almost killed me. I only weighed 42 kilo's, I sported like crazy –till everything turn black before my eyes- pushed myself physically and mentally nearly passed the limit.

I still don't know how I got out of this but I know it must have been God's strength. No person is strong enough to do this on his own. A certain moment I chose to live. That has been an immense and heavy struggle, but I had a goal: I wanted to work with horses and one needs energy for that. It took me years to get back to a normal weight but now I can really say that the monster has been beaten in Jesus' Name!

The work with the horses developed into international competition endurance sport with Arabian horses owned by a lady living in the Ardennes, she was like a second mother to me. For five years, I went to the Ardennes every weekend. It was my escape from life with my so severely depressed mother. I helped them out in the enterprise but I never quite found the "warm nest” I was so desperately looking for.

I still have a love for animals and nature but experience it in quieter ways, mostly long walks through the woods and on the moors with my doggy, Bram.

Some three years I ago I went living on my own. As I was packing I found cards and letters from my father. I hadn't seen him in 16 years. Finally I gathered all my courage and contacted him.

The first meeting was wonderful. Daddy and I got along so well even though we hadn't seen each other in years. There is this understanding. We have a lot in common and just now I realize how much I missed a father, but God restores in every way! A few weeks ago Dad gave his life to Jesus. Yes, well ‘out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh'….

By the end of 2012 God really took me by the hand and pulled me out of a very big swamp. Things got worse and worse with my mother and I really didn't know what to do. I don't give up easily but now I was at the end of the rope. When people reach the end of their abilities, God can intervene and He did. I regularly checked out Gods Ambassade website and listened to the audio posted there. When I noticed the e-mail address of Josée and Eugene, it was as if the lights went on. I mailed them and went there on an afternoon. I had prayed beforehand asking God to make it really clear : should I go back to Gods Ambassade or to another church closer by?

On the way back home I nearly had to pull the car aside, tears kept streaming down. God's answer was loud and clear: "Yes, I want you to go to this church!”

For the moment I'm not seeing my mother. I went to see Josée and Eugène with her one afternoon. After we left tears started flowing incessantly, tears of relieve as if God said: " So, from here on I take over. You come and shelter under My wings and I take care of you.” He gave me His peace and rest and I am confident that God takes care of Mom.

So I started my new life. As from January I'm back in the church. I chose for Him with heart and soul and it moved me so that He personally picked me up and brought me back in the flock. In these three months I blossomed, in this short time God turned everything around in my life. He gave me insight in my past so I could wholeheartedly forgive mom. After that I laid everything really every thing down at His feet and then heaven burst open.

Blessing upon blessing followed and one answered prayer after the other. My confidence in Him is very great and my love for God is indescribable. Never ever Someone stood up for me like that, never ever Someone made it so clear to me that He will never leave me or forsake me. There are days I just can't fall asleep for joy and happiness.

The conference with Jan Sjoerd Pasterkamp was definitely a highlight. All I did there was listening to HIS voice. What followed was like all the puzzle pieces falling into place. Like getting a day leave from work on one of the hardest days to get a leave. I also got the impression I had to ask Hugo and Inger for a place to sleep as the conference started on Friday night to continue on Saturday. So I could stay with Levina Gasperz, a girl my age, who lives close by the Evangelical Centre Europoort and goes to the Christformation bibleschool. We had a very special evening and talked about our mighty Father till way past midnight. It felt as if we were family and had known each other for years. Father arranged for everything in detail, even the parking place!

The conference of Jan Sjoerd was tremendous. I learned a lot and experienced the powerful working of the Holy Spirit within me. The previous evening Hugo gave a master class about "The sting of faith”; how big is your trust in God?

Ever since this weekend my trust in Him has grown much bigger. I don't have to be in control so much more, I put everything in God's hands and He provides, much better so than I could. This is what I really learned: walking with God means, leaving everything up to Him, listening to His voice, taking steps in faith, keeping your eyes upon Him, not being diverted by what other people say or do. He takes you by the hand and leads you through the darkest valleys and brings you out fresh and renewed and leads you into His flock where you belong! He never let me go and I don't ever want to let go of Him!”