15 years doom and gloom dissipated like morning mist and the sun broke through

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Recovery from a severe burn out

“For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.” (2 Cor 4:5)

I was doing for over 30 years all kind of leadership tasks in the church of Jesus, when a concurrence of events led to a complete mental crash. I entered unexpectedly and unwantedly a period of burn-out that would last several years.

I was relieved of my job as fulltime pastor and I was obliged to stop my involvement in Christian Flanders. I did not preach anywhere for over a year, although I had been doing this for years throughout the whole of Flanders. I even felt written off by God and fellow human beings. The civil society declared that I was incapable to work.

Fasting days: a unique event

From 24 to 26 January we had again a few fasting days, this time in “de Boerekreek” in St.-Jan-in-Eremo (East-Flanders). It was the first time we went to this location and that always gives some extra tension. Will the rooms be ok? Will it be warm enough over there? Last year in the Ardennes it was very cold the first day since the heating was not up in time…
We were warmly welcomed by the staff of “de Boerekreek” and we got the restaurant for our meetings. The rooms were very clean and all rooms had a separate bathroom with a shower and a toilet and it was nicely warm everywhere, which is very nice when fasting a few days.

We enjoyed times of marvelous worship, powerful studies, many moments of silences – In which we could soak or go for a walk in the beautiful nature surrounding the center – and times of prayer for each other, the country, our churches and many other subjects.
As Tamara put it nicely: “We have been fed very well once again!”

Anne, who came to see us at wits end, sent the following testimony:

“After my children were born, I noticed my state of mind worsened year after year. Now I know I had postnatal depressions after each childbirth, but at the time I had never heard about it.

As a mother you take care of your children day by day often totally neglecting yourself, that takes a toll. I felt like being in a race against the time, trying to get everything done. Each night I went to bed exhausted, feeling I wasn’t getting much out of my days. The continuous care for the children, the household, the garden, preparing food, doing errands and a lot more…. it was all becoming too much.

Moreover being a perfectionist I was never satisfied. For 15 years I felt depressed. Even with friends and family it was hard to control my emotions. It was often very difficult not to burst out in tears. The bleakest remarks came invariably out of my mouth. I realized this situation was not good for the development of my children. They deserved a joyful mom who dealt with them patiently and lovingly.

I consulted a psychiatrist. He prescribed an anti depressant. Because I couldn’t cope with the bothersome side effects, I returned for other medication. It eventually took years before to find the right kind of antidepressant for me. Each new medicine I tried gave nasty side effects. Some made you dull and apathetic; you couldn’t care less about anything. Other medicine makes you eat excessively. It was impossible to control your appetite. I visibly gained weight. Another pill caused severe myalgia. And still another caused memory disorder. I finally realized the psychiatrist could be stalling me longer but without having a real solution.

I finally sought the help of a psychologist. That turned out to be extremely time consuming and after uncountable hours of therapy there still was no progress whatsoever! I clearly consulted the wrong caseworkers. So again I looked for another psychiatrist and another psychologist, to no avail.

It cost me pockets full of money and loads of time to find a therapy for depression! The bad thing was it just didn’t help, on the contrary even, my condition got worse. I became so discouraged by it all. I was of the belief I needed to find a solution to my depression problem in a scientifically sound way, but the answer wasn’t with science!

I came to the point I had no more patience, I wanted to get rid of this depression, but how? As a last resort I decided to contact the ‘Gods Ambassade’ team. I could go and see them on Monday 7th September 2015. I told my entire story and they prayed with me. It wasn’t much more than that. The next few days I listened to 3 cd’s explaining how you can get new insights through faith.

Then a miracle occurred… I can’t explain it. 15 years of gloom and doom just dissipated like morning mist and the sun broke through. Each day since I’ve been feeling strong and courageous and joyful. Now life to me is like a sunflower that finally regained its capacity to turn to the sun. It feels like a magnificent liberation! Now I stand in life in a completely different way. I experience each day as a present from heaven!”