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Recovery from a severe burn out

“For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.” (2 Cor 4:5)

I was doing for over 30 years all kind of leadership tasks in the church of Jesus, when a concurrence of events led to a complete mental crash. I entered unexpectedly and unwantedly a period of burn-out that would last several years.

I was relieved of my job as fulltime pastor and I was obliged to stop my involvement in Christian Flanders. I did not preach anywhere for over a year, although I had been doing this for years throughout the whole of Flanders. I even felt written off by God and fellow human beings. The civil society declared that I was incapable to work.

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Spectacular recovery after unanimous prayer

12th March we received an urgent prayer request from Hans and Gerda Eijsackers, co-workers with Gods Ambassade Netherlands). They asked prayer for Leeuwke, the 1,5 year old grandson of Gerda’s brother. He was on a respirator in the Intensive Care unit. The doctors did not know just what exactly went wrong.

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Anne, who came to see us at wits end, sent the following testimony:

“After my children were born, I noticed my state of mind worsened year after year. Now I know I had postnatal depressions after each childbirth, but at the time I had never heard about it.

 

As a mother you take care of your children day by day often totally neglecting yourself, that takes a toll. I felt like being in a race against the time, trying to get everything done. Each night I went to bed exhausted, feeling I wasn’t getting much out of my days. The continuous care for the children, the household, the garden, preparing food, doing errands and a lot more…. it was all becoming too much.

Moreover being a perfectionist I was never satisfied. For 15 years I felt depressed. Even with friends and family it was hard to control my emotions. It was often very difficult not to burst out in tears. The bleakest remarks came invariably out of my mouth. I realized this situation was not good for the development of my children. They deserved a joyful mom who dealt with them patiently and lovingly.

I consulted a psychiatrist. He prescribed an anti depressant. Because I couldn’t cope with the bothersome side effects, I returned for other medication. It eventually took years before to find the right kind of antidepressant for me. Each new medicine I tried gave nasty side effects. Some made you dull and apathetic; you couldn’t care less about anything. Other medicine makes you eat excessively. It was impossible to control your appetite. I visibly gained weight. Another pill caused severe myalgia. And still another caused memory disorder. I finally realized the psychiatrist could be stalling me longer but without having a real solution.

I finally sought the help of a psychologist. That turned out to be extremely time consuming and after uncountable hours of therapy there still was no progress whatsoever! I clearly consulted the wrong caseworkers. So again I looked for another psychiatrist and another psychologist, to no avail.

It cost me pockets full of money and loads of time to find a therapy for depression! The bad thing was it just didn’t help, on the contrary even, my condition got worse. I became so discouraged by it all. I was of the belief I needed to find a solution to my depression problem in a scientifically sound way, but the answer wasn’t with science!

I came to the point I had no more patience, I wanted to get rid of this depression, but how? As a last resort I decided to contact the ‘Gods Ambassade’ team. I could go and see them on Monday 7th September 2015. I told my entire story and they prayed with me. It wasn’t much more than that. The next few days I listened to 3 cd’s explaining how you can get new insights through faith.

Then a miracle occurred… I can’t explain it. 15 years of gloom and doom just dissipated like morning mist and the sun broke through. Each day since I’ve been feeling strong and courageous and joyful. Now life to me is like a sunflower that finally regained its capacity to turn to the sun. It feels like a magnificent liberation! Now I stand in life in a completely different way. I experience each day as a present from heaven!”

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