Reflection

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Recovery from a severe burn out

“For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.” (2 Cor 4:5)

I was doing for over 30 years all kind of leadership tasks in the church of Jesus, when a concurrence of events led to a complete mental crash. I entered unexpectedly and unwantedly a period of burn-out that would last several years.

I was relieved of my job as fulltime pastor and I was obliged to stop my involvement in Christian Flanders. I did not preach anywhere for over a year, although I had been doing this for years throughout the whole of Flanders. I even felt written off by God and fellow human beings. The civil society declared that I was incapable to work.

Testimony Astrid Father heart school 2019

“Since the first time I went to the Father heart school in 2005, I have experienced that gradually a firm foundation was being laid in my once empty soul. In this way Father's love could and can be poured out deeper and deeper.

Mark told us that the more our hearts are being filled with Father's love, the more the traumas surface to finally disappear. I used to be very shy and ashamed and always felt guilty, sad and inferior. I was so ashamed that in a group I hardly dared say my name. Since then I have received a lot of healing. Now I know I am the daughter of my Heavenly Father.

John, the disciple Jesus loves

For me and for many others, this is a stumbling block in the Bible. What to do about it? So Jesus seemed to love one of the disciples more than the others. Some even claim that Jesus had a homosexual relationship with John. But if you really want to understand the core of this verse, you just have to think twice and read carefully what it says. What's important is that it's not Jesus who makes this statement, but John. And nowhere in the Gospels do we read that Jesus says that He prefers one to all others.

So the saying and the conclusion come from John himself. Did he receive a special revelation? As far as I'm concerned, over the years it happened occasionally that someone said: "God is happy with you". It was a statement that I kept in mind because I was used to hearing sometimes "God loves you". But according to me there is a difference between loving someone and being happy with someone.

Recently an elderly lady came up to me after a meeting and said God told her to tell me He is happy with me. Usually I forget such a sentence quite quickly. But this time I began to think about it. I did not have a special revelation, but I did have the Word that clearly states that God loves us and is happy with us. So I decided to just accept that word.

Maybe the same happened to John. Maybe he was so proud that Jesus loved him that he felt the need to make it known, while the other disciples weren't so concerned about telling it. Nobody knows exactly how it went. It seems clear to me that Jesus did not love John more than the others. But one thing is for sure: John knew for sure that he was the disciple Jesus loved.

I just wanted to bring this to your attention and hope you will think about it. I wish you a lot of blessing with it.

Hugo, the disciple Jesus is happy with.